The East Wing of the White House has been demolished to make way for a huge ballroom that will host state dinners for up to a thousand people. But what to do until then?
I have never been to a state dinner. I have milled outside a few with other reporters to shout questions at some of the politicians and celebrities going in and out. Sometimes, they smile.
The menus of what's served are made public. They sound like first-rate fare, without being too daring: heirloom tomato soup, Iowa rib-eye steak, or Maine lobster, followed by maple pecan or orange chiffon cake. But as a couple of state dinner guests have told me — off the record, and with respect for the talented White House kitchen crew, you don't go to a state dinner for the food.
So in the pause while the rubble that was once the East Wing is cleared away, why not move state dinners to a different location? Why not hold them at the Iowa State Fairgrounds?
Yes, it would involve a flight. But if you use last summer's bill of fare as a guide, guests could walk from stand to stand, instead of being stuck in their seats for speeches. They could feast on a Chicken Pickle Ranch Rocket on a Stick, Flamin' Hot Cheetos Fries, a Full Mozzarella Korean Corn Dog, Maple Bacon-Flavored Cheese Curds, or Fairgrounds Fiesta Wontons, filled with egg salad and the size of catcher's mitts, deep-fried and then drizzled with hot honey and pico de gallo.
Now that's America!
For dessert: the Scotcheroo Shake — peanut butter and butterscotch ice cream swirled with Scotcheroo fudge, which is a mix of peanut butter, butterscotch, Rice Krispies and chocolate chips, crowned with whipped cream with caramel and chocolate drizzles.
You can imagine diplomats and politicians staggering into their limos after a fairgrounds state dinner, saying between belches, "We must end these tariffs and open a Scotcheroo Shake Trade Route!"
And when it comes time for the toasts, heads of state can salute a long, fruitful friendship between countries with the bracing combination of pink lemonade and pickle juice known as a "Pickled Pink."
An Iowa Fairgrounds state dinner might remind us how America is a mix from all over the world — where people bring their biggest dreams and break bread, or Fiesta Wontons, with friends new and old.
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